more chandeliers.....

my head is swimming with beautiful 

french chandeliers....

i wish i could have them all....

thinking about this 

for my dining room...

or one of these...

they are all so beautiful.....

what do i do?

construction!!!

yes...

construction has started on my new house!!!

the demolition project is well on its way and 

i can't wait to take some pictures

and share all of 

the progress with you!

until tomorrow.....

wanting to let go....

ahhh

i am feeling so much better....

today has been my first day out of the house

in a week....

being out and about has 

also helped my mental state of mind...

although i find myself so easily irritated

and so easily hurt...

i have to know these things are me...

all related to my stress and break up....

i just wish i could calm my mind a little....

so i have been 

 learning to meditate...

and i spend a lot of time alone,

i figure if i am having such trouble dealing with myself

i can only imagine

how my friends and family feel....

i thank those of you 

 who understand me 

and love me in spite of myself....

thanks for always caring and showing me you do.

i am trying to focus on letting go...

something i have never in my life done easily....

a close friend recently 

let go of parts of her past...

she had a burn ceremony...

and i am 

thinking about doing just the same...

sometimes the ritual 

is just what we need to really release

our emotions....

so i look forward to writing down 

all that i want to let go of and lighting it on fire and 

sending it into the night....

thanks em...

burn photos by emilee cleary

today i'm sad...

it's the holiday season....

i have been under the weather...

and i am sad...

i miss you

and i don't want to...

but i do...

it's been so long since i have seen you

it feels all wrong....

the space in my heart gets bigger...

emptier....

i sometimes am still in disbelief

at what has come of us...

Christmas is going to be so hard...

i guess we won't be making 

ornaments this year...

or decorating our...

MY tree...

i wish we had been...

i am planning my....

annual trip to Manhattan.....

and i am wanting to be excited...

a friend said to me recently

"be happy

you can do all your stuff...

with no compromises..."

that's when i realized

your stuff was my stuff

and with you it never felt like a compromise....

yes...

i know things are for the best and life ebbs and flows....

tomorrow will be better

sometimes the distance is a reality bite

and it stings

a little....

i just never thought...

or maybe i did....

i feel like this today!

my friend posted this...

and it is exactly what i have been thinking all day!

amen!

single me...

i know this feeling...

peace...

this is a picture my friend took 

in her back yard...

this is the

same place where my friend was laid

to rest eternally...

it gave me such a sense

of peace...

i wanted to share it...

thanks jocelyn...

a little monday inspiration....

“… Down deep in every human heart there is mercy and generosity. No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. If people can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

― Nelson Mandela

thanks gwen...

appliances...appliances...appliances...

so i am shopping for appliances...

i know stainless steel is timeless, 

but i am over it!

i am wanting a fresher

brighter

look...

finding this isn't easy...

but this is a cool new line i found 

that is pretty cool...

how cute a green fridge?

or a pink range?

i personally am thinking white...

maybe white 

AND

stainless...

i really like this retro 

style from big chill.....

i wonder wat i will end up with???

ahh

decisions... decisions,,, decisions...

garage sale!!!!

i have been cleaning out my 

house bit by bit....

it has been a major undertaking....

i know it looks like junk now....

but trust me...

once it is organized,

there are some great finds!!

my first goal is to go through my house and collect

everything that is to go into

the yard sale....

then i need to organize and price....

hmmm

stayed tuned for more garage sale

updates...

i will be selling all kinds of clothing...

labels include-

bcbg, michael stars, free people, juicy couture, 

chanel, gucci, st. johns knit, anthropologie,

and plenty more!!

i will have trinkets, dishes, glasses,

jewelry and more!

dinner tonight!

mexican chicken...

Servings: 8 servings 
Prep Time: 10 min
Cook Time: 30 min
Difficulty: Easy

Ingredients 

1 10 3/4 -ounce can cream of chicken soup
1 10 3/4 -ounce can cheddar cheese soup
1 10 3/4 -ounce can cream of mushroom soup 

1 10-ounce can tomatoes
1 whole chicken, cooked, boned, and chopped or 4 cups leftover cooked chicken
11 1/2-ounce package flour tortillas
2 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, stir together the three kinds of soup and the tomatoes. Stir in the chicken.

In a greased 13 x 9- inch pan, layer the tortillas and the chicken mixture, beginning and ending with tortillas. Sprinkle the cheese over the casserole and bake for 30 minutes.