beautiful shiny shoes...

ohhhh to be able to wear heels....

look at all these lovely

shoes...

gucci

gucci

marc jacob

valentino

brian atwood

 these really make you want to go dancing!

wish*wish*wish*

congratulations new york!

july 24th, 2011

sunday brunch...

what a nice day...

my girlfriend came over for brunch...

i made a big salad and 

a yummy frittata

with a side of grapefruit...

this bibb lettuce salad 

has small current tomatoes from my garden, and raw local sweet corn

tossed with annie's shiitake & sesame dressing...

my cute friend ann...

also one of the most creative people i know...

fritatta:

evo, eggs, 

 sausage, heirloom tomatoes, pecorino, feta,

oregano, parsley, and basil...

all herbs fresh from my garden...

what a nice sunday morning...

pain...

how to be strong?

i am not a blogger naturally….

i don't read a lot of them, but i really enjoy doing it myself. 

i only thought about blogging when several of my Facebook friends suggested it….

so…

 here i am….

raw and up close…

 to me it is like a personal journal…

i thank all of you for reading, 
and 

its very encouraging 
the number of people that read and enjoy my blog
daily….

again, i thank you…

my "love blogs" 
 get the most attention...

they are without question
the most popular...

usually i am apprehensive about them and always wonder

 if i have shared too much….

but…

i am a huge believer in love …..

a sucker for it... 

being in love is hard, time takes it's toll...

what holds us together?

it's complicated, but

 i appreciate all the complications 
and struggles that come with love… 

isn't that  what makes it 

 real?

isn't it the pain that makes us feel the most?

the yin and yang.

i am not easy, probably never will be, 

i probably will never have the relationship that doesn't

argue or fight….

so in return i have always embrace my passion and lust for

love and life…..

this is where i wonder if too much is too much….

 are there the perfect couple doing all

the fun, perfect  things?

me,

 i don't know i thought my life was  pretty 

right on and awesome 

until 

about two weeks ago….

ok….

was it really? 

i have no idea, all i really know despite of everything

i have loved this man….

and i know without question he loves me….

but…. 

are we strong enough….

it doesn't seem so anymore….

how did this change? 

how does one person lose sight?

haven't i already said in my past  "love blogs"

leaving is easy, staying is hard….

that is

something i truly believe

love,  true love is reciprocated…

we,

 along the way may think we are in love,
 but only 

and only when it is a mutual feeling …

is it real….

so here i am back to my question…

how does one lose sight??

are there people incapable of loving?

incapable of understanding the roots of real love…

are there people who "need"...

more than they can give?

and if so, does that make it ok?

where do i find myself in all of this? 

i don't know.

 i am a strong woman

i have made strong decisions in the years that we have been together….

and that has been a misconception….

i have not sacrificed more of myself than i was willing too….

i have always know exactly

who and why i was with him…

with that said, where am i now?

how do i know?

i have molded who i am and what i believe

because i loved him….

and we were us…..

make no mistake molding means giving, 

changing, and  compromising….

so

for all of you out there that love, these "love blogs"

here it is…

up close and personal,

i don't know what to do….

don't know how to face my nightmare.

is this man 
i have put all of my faith in real?

or is he really just some jerk?

the same old jerk

we cringe at the sight of?

am i a fool?

or am i just in love?

will it change?

no.

does he really need me?

am i abandoning him

as well?

who saves who?

is there a way to save us???

how do i find the strength to leave

and stay gone?

my friend told me tonight....

"well no one ever got tough toes by walking on marsh mellows.

shit ain't always rainbows...."

-mle

like i have said it's the pain 
that keeps us strong...




i am trying...

a little wednesday afternoon daydreaming...

here are a few dreamy images i found...

makes you think of a secret garden...

sunsurfer.tumblr.com

sunsurfer.tumblr.com

makes you believe in magic...

brabournefarm.blogspot.com

innerbeliever.tumblr.com

 these quiet photos make my mind wonder...

jjjjound.com

vintagehome.tumblr.com

brabournefarm.blogspot.com

interioralchemy.tumblr.com

what wonderful spaces to see...

i hope you are enjoying your week and these photo's

give you a moment of daydreaming...

many years ago.....

timo laughed when i 

wanted antique doors on every doorway...

old,
paint peeling doors...

and every one different...

he thought i had lost my mind,

well, ten years later, i still want those doors...

picture...

wouldn't these be great for a bathroom?

( you can't see in )

**heart**

thump, thump

found here...

picture...

maybe one day when i have my own house

i will put different doors

on every doorway...

if you remember my very old post.....

peeling paint...

what a simply beautiful cake!

i am 

always thinking of fun cake ideas

for my sweet niece Quinn...

this is a beautiful recipe 

that would be fun for any dinner party,

brunch or really any party or celebration...

have you ever seen a prettier little cake?

cake recipe and photo's by apollinas

Citrus Cake with Lemon Curd Filling and Lemon & Orange Icing

Ingredients

• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus more for the pans
• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, spooned and leveled, plus more for the pans
grated zest of 2 oranges
grated zest of two lemons
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 3 large eggs, at room temperature
• 1 cup whole milk
• Blood oranges*, regular oranges, lemons, limes and mint for to arrange on top of the cake

Directions

1. Heat oven to 350°F. Butter two 8″, 9″ or 10″ round cake pans, line the bottoms with parchment, butter again, and dust with flour, tapping out the excess. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt; set aside.
2. Using an electric mixer, beat the butter and sugar on medium-high until fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes.  Mix in the grated zest of the oranges and lemons.  Beat in the vanilla, then the eggs one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary.
3. Reduce mixer speed to low. Add the flour mixture in 3 additions and the milk in 2 additions, beginning and ending with the flour mixture. Mix just until combined (don’t over mix).
4. Divide the batter equally between the prepared cake pans, leveling the top of each with a large spoon or rubber spatula.  Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, 25 to 30 minutes for 8-inch pans, 22 to 25 minutes for 9-inch pans and 20 to 22 minutes for a 10 inch pan.  Cool the cakes in the pans for 15 minutes, then turn out onto racks to cool completely.

Transfer one of the cooled cakes to a plate and spread with the lemon curd. Top with the remaining cake and refrigerate to set, 30 minutes. Spread the top and sides with the frosting. 

Lemon Curd Filling (adapted from RealSimple)

Ingredients

• 4 large eggs
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 tablespoon finely grated lemon zest
• 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
• pinch kosher salt
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into pieces

Directions

1. In a heatproof bowl, whisk together the eggs, sugar, lemon zest and juice, and salt. Add the butter. Set the bowl over (not in) a saucepan of simmering water and cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture has thickened to the consistency of mayonnaise, 12 to 15 minutes.
2. Pour the mixture through a fine-mesh sieve into a medium bowl. Place a piece of parchment or wax paper directly on the surface of the lemon curd and refrigerate until completely cool, at least 2 hours and up to 2 days.

Fresh Orange Lemon Frosting

Ingredients

• 2 cups (4 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 2 tablespoons finely grated lemon zest
• 2 tablespoons fresh orange juice
• 1 pound confectioners’ sugar (about 3 3/4 cups), sifted
• pinch kosher salt

Directions

1. Using an electric mixer, beat the butter and lemon zest on high until light and fluffy, 3 to 5 minutes.  Add the orange juice.  Reduce mixer speed to low. Gradually add the sugar, then the salt, and beat until smooth, scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary.  Ice the cake!

*I went to three different stores in order to find blood oranges… since the cakes were already made and I needed to decorate it… I just bought regular oranges and improvised with red food coloring. I’m sorry! I had to do it… I had no idea how unobtainable blood oranges could be!