tired of love..... actually exhausted.....

yes...

i am still wondering...

and...



i am...


 still sad...

still...

not hoping,

 yet not completely

giving up.....

when it comes to love...

i  struggle...

i thought i knew...

i am unconventional in so many ways...

so...



does that make a difference?
does that change things?

is it true?

what is a soul mate?

and
how do you know?

i am sure we have plenty...

but ....

why were "we"
 so the same

yet, so different?

how were we so wrong?
or were we?

was it me?

was it you?

was it us?

and is it still?

i remember ...

i remember the beginning....

everyone told me that when you fall in love 

you just "KNOW"....


what is there to know?
hadn't i  been "in love"
 before?


haven't i?

but...

i saw the look on your face
 that day...

 it was the 

same look i had on mine...

you have always said

you were in-love with me ...
even 

before you knew me...

and....

 i knew....


 even without knowing you...

i knew ...

 it was me......

then...

you looked at me,

and i looked at you....

and i tried...

and i failed.....

and i loved you....

and you loved me....

and now its over...

and it's your fault...

but...
 actually it's mine....

i am so sorry 

for not doing what i was supposed to do...

and for not doing what i expected of you...

i am so sorry we couldn't be what 

i thought we were...

i am so sorry...


and sad it's over....





today would have been 13 years.....

we made it 12 in a half...

so i remember this...